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Dear Mom Who Never Gets A Break,
I see you over there wiping the face of a tiny person while another cries next to you for a boo boo to be kissed. I know that the moment your feet hit the ground in the morning the whole essence of your being revolves around the needs of these tiny people who demand so much. I see the way you move from crisis to crisis while trying to maintain the functionality of a home that just never seems to be clean.
I see you…
I see you juggle the appointments, the drop offs, the lunches, the snacks, the nap times, the play dates, the laundry, the sippy cups, the diapers, the dishes, the practices, and the seemingly never ending to-do list. I see you give up your hobbies, your interests, yourself in order to keep the family running. You look back at the person you were before and you don’t even recognize her. How did you get here?
I see you…
I see the way you struggle to get things done while little people beg you to play. I see the guilt. No choice is ever the right one. Little voices tug at your heartstrings while a mountain of dishes shouts to be cleaned. You strike a balance the best you can but it never seems like enough.
I see you…
I see you lose your temper. I see you shout for the 100th time that morning for them to put their shoes on. I see your frustration when the older one shoves the baby after you just talked about being gentle. I see cracks in the Mary Poppins facade as you struggle to keep it together. And I see the dark cloud of guilt wash over you when the precious little people you love more than anything in the whole world put shoes on with faces that betray their hurt. Be patient you say. They’re so little still you say. I see the cloud overcome you and how it takes everything in you to put one foot in front of the other and not succumb to it. Because you can’t. Because they NEED you too much.
I see you…
I see how desperately you need to get away. How much you wish you could have an adult conversation with your husband, with anyone. I see how you can’t wait for bedtime then as soon as their little eyes are finally closed and they drift off you miss them. I see how you crave time alone while simultaneously you are unable to imagine your world without them. You crave balance. You yearn for just a piece of you left for yourself then immediately that black cloud of guilt washes over you like a wave in the ocean. How can you want time away from them while still feeling like you never do enough?
I see you… and you are enough. You aren’t alone. It’s ok to crave time for you. And you are a great mom.
